Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Seriously.....

I have to be honest and say that I am having a hard time wrapping my arms around how my life is playing out this year.....

Like they say, "if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans". Uh, hello, is that not the truth??? I think I can still hear him laughing. I find myself sitting here wondering how much more I can handle--how much more tough news can I take, because he threw us another unexpected curve ball tonight!

"With me you can handle anything" He reminds me. He's right. Six years ago, before BSF, I would have totally fallen apart and would have been a lost soul, deep in despair from everything that's happened this year. But, aside from a rough day or two now, I have great HOPE in the outcome of our situation because God loves me (and you), and walks with me every step of the way. I truly believe he is refining who I am through these challenges, growing my faith every step of the way. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls" (Matt 11:28-29). Another bible verse I find strength in is Deut. 31:8...."The Lord himself goes before you (me), and will be with you (me); he will never leave you (me), nor forsake you (me). Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged". I sometimes like to adapt bible verses so they speak directly to me (that's why I inserted (me) into the verse above. It makes the scripture all the more meaningful and powerful for me.

Because of these promises he makes me, I am literally dropping myself at his feet, in utter weariness, and begging him to re energize and revitalize my spirit with his power. And you know what, He is totally answering my prayers. Over the past few days, I have prayed in earnest to him, and he has renewed me, if only for today, which is enough. All we can ask for is strength enough for today. He promises that for us. I am NOT in despair, I have NOT lost hope! Do not interpret this post today as "boy, she's gone off the deep end"! That's the good news, he has restored me and I feel better. He uses his church members to strengthen and encourage me--they (you) lift me up and keep me truckin' along! This too shall pass....and when it does, I can't wait to experience the new and improved ME.

Oh, by the way, the little curve ball God threw our way tonight? My mom is back in the hospital. She woke up early yesterday morning unable to breath, with pain in her chest (remember, only a month ago she had two more stents put in which worked for a little while). She felt like every time she breathed she was drowning. They ended up at the hospital, where they are preforming a battery of tests. They suspect she might have a pulmonary embolism (a blood clot in her lung). It might explain why she has been having so much trouble and why, perhaps, the stents in the heart hasn't resulted in her feeling better. Please pray for her. She's a champ and my hero. I want her to feel better. I love her so much.


Have a great day and I will check in later with an update on my mom!!!

19 comments:

  1. Hugs Amy! I will be praying everything is ok with your mom. When it rains it pours doesn't it?

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  2. A BIG hug to you Amy! What encouragement I read in your post - you have certainly grown in strength & the ability to focus on God in times of trouble! I know it seems like a bad thing for your Mom to be back in the hospital, but God could be using this for her healing. I'm praying that the Drs will find exactily what's wrong & be able to take care of that problem this time! Just remember He will carry you through this - "The Eternal God is your refuge & underneath are the everlasting arms! - Deut. 33:27"

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  3. (((HUGS))) Amy. You and your family and your mom are in my prayers.

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  4. I love that picture of your parents - look at that love and warmth! They look like *fun* people! Amy, I'll keep Mom in my thoughts and prayers. . . and you, too! It's rough when Mom's ill, no matter how old you are. ((((hugs))))

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  5. Saying prayers for your Mom Amy.

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  6. Amy, words can express how bad I feel for you. I am so glad that you have such a strong sense of faith to get you thru EVERYTHING!

    Sending hugz & prayers your way & for your Mom.

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  7. Oh Amy, BIG HUGS and many prayers coming your way, girl! Hang in there!

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  8. I am sooo sorry that you are going through this, but thankful you have your Lord to bring you thru... Thank you for posting this post... I keep telling one of my daughters.... This too shall pass... I try to remember to tell myself that too when things get tough!

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  9. Your words of strength and encouragement are so uplifting. Thank you for sharing.

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  10. All I have to say is that God must really think you're strong to give you all of this to handle. Hugs, girl, and lots of prayers. :)

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  11. I, too, know that God has a great sense of humor - just look at my life!
    I'm sorry to hear about your Mom - I can't imagine how hard that must be.
    Thanks for always sharing bible verses on your blog - it uplifts my day!
    P.S. What does BSF stand for - I've seen it mentioned several times and can't figure it out. I know it's a bible study - wait, is it Bible Study Fellowship? If so, I feel really goofy!

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  12. Amy, you have been in my thoughts so much. I have had you on my prayer list for a while now. It is so encouraging to know that even when we walk in darkness Jesus is with us. I pray that you will always ask God to walk with you in the dark!. I am sorry to hear of your mother. I will add her to my prayer list. I know when I pray for you by name and your mom the Big Guy will know who I am talking about. I will close with a passage for you that I read when I am in those dark places. (Psalms 34:18)
    May you be blessed and may you be a blessing!

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  13. ((((Amy))))
    I'm praying for the Great Physician to heal your mom. And I'm praying for God to continue to uphold you and strengthen you. May God be very near to all of your family as you weather this crisis.

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  14. Amy,
    Last week it was my Mum struggling with her breathing and now it is yours! These Mums that we love so dearly do give us a tough time. My Mum is home again and improving so I hope yours will soon be too. Take care - hugs to you!

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  15. perhaps you are feeling a bit (or a lot) like Job these days, but you are behaving like the "more than conqueror" you are, empowered by Christ's love. that knowledge is more than challenging to grasp some days, but you are defeating the enemy every time you choose to go to God with your weariness, your overwhelmedness, your discouragement, and your fears. way to go, amy!

    keep us posted, because you know we care. any word on your BIL?

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  16. Oh, Amy, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. We're hoping all is well soon for your mom. Also, thanks for the kind words and inspiration.

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  17. You just keep your heart open to Him like you voiced in this post, Amy, and you will, through all of this suffering and pain, continue to experience the victory we have in Christ. When we suffer, we identify more fully and completely with Him. May God wrap His strong and merciful arms around you and your family even at this moment, and remind you of just how precious each of you are to Him.

    Prayers are going up to Him for your mom right now.

    blessings,
    barb

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  18. Amy I know this has been a very trying year for you and your family. What hope that we can depend on God and his promises for us especially when we are going though difficult times. May you feel him hugging you right now. Praying for all of you and lifting your sweet mom up and asking for healing and wisdom for her doctors.
    Hugs,
    Konnie

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  19. I'm so sorry to hear your mom is back into the hospital. Sending you and your family prayers and hugs. Love the pic by the way!

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